August 23, 1942

Friday Evening

Dearest Jane:

Well sweet, how are you feeling today? I hope you are fine. As for myself I can’t say much. I have just been told that I can’t get a furlough. So you can imagine just about how bad I feel. I have done everything I could even went to see the Colonel myself and caught the devil for doing it. They just won’t give me a furlough. We start maneuvers Monday and they won’t give passes or furloughs for any reason.

Honey I want you to write Colonel Smith and ask him why after he promised that I can’t get a furlough. That’s about the lowest damn trick a person could pull. He said I was such a good soldier and a Sergeant at that. Well I am going to take the stripes and tell them to go to the devil. They can make me stay in the army but they can’t make me do any thing. I at least don’t have to wear their stripes.

Darling you have no idea how much it is hurting me. It’s just about more than I am able to stand. I have gone ahead and did my best and tried to be a good soldier but this just lits the bottom out from under me. I have stood things that are unfair and did the best I could but I can’t go any farther. It seems this army tries to break a man down instead of make a man out of you. All those things I write remember and with god as my witness some one is going to hear about it when I get out.

Sweet will stop now, as I can’t write any more at present. Please please honey talk care of yourself and remember I am with you with my heart and soul even though not physically.

All my love darling

Clive

P.S. Tell mother I will send the money back when I get it.

Dear Mother:

I guess Jane has told you by now that they won’t give me a furlough. I did all I could and they wouldn’t do it. Said it wasn’t necessary. The only chance left is for some one is Washington to pull some wires and I don’t guess there is anyone who will do that. But mother don’t let it worry Jane too much and don’t let her get sick. I have worried about her so much the last month I am just about crazy and now I guess this will just about finish things up.

And mother you wonder why I feel that I don’t owe this country a thing, why should I? There’s nothing fair and democratic about it and that’s what we are supposed to be fighting for. But if ever I get out of this army I don’t ever want any one to mention the United States to me again. It couldn’t be much worse any place else. I know it’s awful to talk this way but it’s the truth. We are nothing but slaves, don’t even have a mind of our own and they wonder why the soldiers are so bad. What can people expect when they are treated worse than dogs. This old patriotism is a lot of baloney. Any that I even had before I lost it today. I have tried to be a good soldier and do my best but mother what’s the use? I haven’t any thing to like or fight for. If I have a son advantage will he get out of me fighting? I don’t see it mother. Maybe you are right about me being like Uncle Boss but I can’t help it. I don’t think anyone owes my anything all I want is just a chance.

Mother I am sorry to write this but it’s what I feel and always will.

Will close now as I can’t write any more now. Tell Dad and Sybil hello for me and take care of Jane and don’t let her feel too bad about me not coming.

All my love,

Clive.